A Friend 2

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June 27, 2017 by Marguerite Ashton

SAMSUNGDear Bess,

I’m posting this old picture from last fall…because it was that moment everything became crystal clear. I struggled to get out of that mold that my mother used to shape me into what she believed to be fitting. I love my Dad, but couldn’t seem to get past what the two had done to me. Their fighting, their snide comments about one another left my world in a state of confusion and turmoil. I had never seen so much hate and for a moment I believed that I was turning into my Mom. Sort of like a mini-me.

I struggled to get out of that mold that my mother used to shape me into what she believed to be fitting. I love my Dad, but couldn’t seem to get past what the two had done to me. Their fighting, their snide comments about one another left my world in a state of confusion and turmoil. I had never seen so much hate and for a moment I believed that I was turning into my Mom. Sort of like a mini-me.

I parroted her words so that the courts and others around would see my mom as the perfect porcelain doll she had painted herself to disguise the evil that infested inside her.

I have to think that I could never see myself leaving my mother to be with Dad. That would mean I’d turned my back on her. She had made that very clear through manipulation that she was doing what was best for me.

When she purchased my kitten, I was able to fall in in love all over again. This love was not tainted and controlled. It was a new beginning for me to finally have a friend to call my own. It was also Mom’s first bribe.

Signed:

Blindsided

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